| | It's been awhile since I've posted, and a lot has happened during that while. Most notably, my father died on May 21st, 2008 after a year long battle with prostate cancer.
The last 2 months of this fight were tough on him, resulting in his death, and tough on us as well, as we struggled through still unfamiliar feelings of denial, loss, grief, and what I've come to call "diminished emotional capacities". I don't think anything can prepare you well for the death of a loved one, especially a parent, child, or sibling. I don't think I've handled it well. By that I mean I've been rather numb about it all, missing Dad of course, but feeling guilty that I'm not more broken up emotionally, like I've done him some sort of disservice or dishonor. Maybe it hasn't been long enough, and I'll get in touch with how I feel at a later date; I've heard of others who've experienced that, but I don't think so, if I know myself at all.
There's certainly plenty to miss about Dad though, and plenty to remind me of him. Mom seems to be adjusting alright, under the circumstances. She lives about a mile from me, and I see her often, helping with what Dad did for her before. We always recount what a good husband and father he was. Lately I find myself doing something, reading something, talking to someone, that I wish I could share with him, but alas, I cannot, for he no longer resides upon this earth. But I have no doubts that he does live someplace else, probably not very far away. There have been no doubts of his continuation.
Dad loved Jesus, being a disciplined man of personal integrity, faith, study, prayer, and service to this Savior of his that by his account had forgiven him of so much. He loved the Church and also those outside the Church, especially the common working man. No matter what he had ever accomplished personally, he always saw himself as connected to the blue collar working class, those who work hard for their living and their families. At a time when he was junior partner and vice president of a manufacturing plant in Houston he often spent his lunch hours playing cards or dominoes with the hourly employees in the shop.
His values, authenticity, and example permanently reside in me, challenging me away from the trappings of duplicity, and toward genuine faith in the Crucified One , and service for His Kingdom . At the end of my days may I have said about me half of what is said about him, for if so, it will have been a good life indeed.
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| | Posted 7/22/2008 11:04 AM - 39 Views - 14 eProps - 7 comments
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